The view of from the trails in Randolph


When I head out for a run these days I began to realize that I don't even need to listen to music anymore. That’s because I spend my time thinking about what I would share with others if they would listen. With every step I take on my little run, I have a deep and wonderful conversation in my mind about the sort of things I would love to discuss with my friends, family, or anyone who would care to talk with me. There have been times where I pause and think, “wow, that was really profound, I should write that down."

So here you go folks. This is what I now call joggin and bloggin. I hope you will comment and give your thoughts too! J

This mornings Joggin and Bloggin:

You may think training for a marathon is easy for someone like me. You may think, “Oh Lori, I know you have done this 4 times over and you are in great shape, it’s a piece of cake for someone like you.” My answer to that is, ha ha ha. I have you all fooled! I am nothing of the sort and what you may also not realize is just because you have run a marathon before doesn’t mean it gets any easier...especially as you get a little older every year!

This morning I woke up at 5:45am, not from my alarm clock, but from my own inner alarm. I saw the time and said to myself, "Ugh! I am soooo tired. Can’t I just lie here for another 15 minutes?" Every minute I stayed in bed the good Lori’s voice in me would shout “Get up! Get up already will you!” Finally I dragged my big behind out of bed and took my sorry, tired, 50 year old bag of bones to the trails.

I started with a slow trot and with every step I took I began thinking “Good grief, this really hurts. Why am I doing this? All I want to do is stay in bed and I am out here in 75 degree weather with 100 percent humidity pounding my body.” After 1 ½ miles I am sweating like an extremely large man. No, I don’t have the pleasure of glowing like the other ladies… I sweat!

As I am doing my little training run the pain and discomfort starts to fade a bit and it feels better. Suddenly I am heading down hill and I catch a cool breeze. Ah that feels better. At this point I am thinking about what I would write in my blog today.

It was then that it dawned on me that I was out there running even though every part of my body wanted to be in my cozy bed. Why in the world was I doing this? Any of this? I could be home getting an extra hour of shut eye in the comfort of my air conditioning. What do I need this for? Why must I run a marathon? Even more so, why at the age of 50 did I start a non-profit called Running on Love and decide to devote my time and energy to get other people to do this with me?

Last year it felt like the universe dropped a grenade on my head. It shook me up, turned me upside down and inside out. I had been losing my hearing for almost 10 years but suddenly my hearing dropped to a level that caused me to see myself losing it all. I mean that very literally. My ears were going rapidly. I felt that my entire connection to my family, friends, all of my relationships, my ability to earn an income, were now in jeopardy. I’ve been in sales and marketing most of my career and now the universe decided suddenly “Hey Lori, you think you are such a hot shot sales professional, try doing it without your ears!”

Suddenly I found myself at mile 20 of my own life’s marathon. I hit the proverbial wall that marathon runners talk about all the time. There were no water stops for me there either. No food to nibble on. I felt desperate, anxious, and full of fear. Fear that I would lose it all. I suddenly found myself questioning something I had never questioned before…myself.

My self-talk sounded something like this:

• I don"t know if I can do this…a life without my ears?
• Will I need to learn to sign?
• Will I be forced to leave the hearing world I grew up in and become part of a new one?
• Will speaking with my kids, husband, friends and relatives become so difficult that they would find me simply not worth the timeand energy?
• Will my business disappear and clients find me less than the person I was before?
• My kids are all musical, will I be able to hear them perform?

I hit rock bottom before I woke up and started my slow journey back. Back to being Lori again. Back to the Lori that knows my family will always be there for me and that I am not alone. Back to the Lori that fearlessly plunges head first into an opportunity without looking back. Am I her yet? Not quite, I am still working out the bugs.

The truth is, like this morning, I still wake up questioning “why the heck are you running this marathon? Will anyone understand, join or even support your new Non-profit and Run on Love with you? Why are you even bothering?” And my answer is…because I must!

Without a doubt, I could go back to doing the same old, same old. Work hard, pay bills, squeak out a vacation here or there. But I need to do more now. I need to show my kids that life is going to toss them lemons, and in my case grenades. What are you going to do when this happens? And I assure you it will.

I don’t know what anyone else does but I will tell you what I plan to do. I will turn my lemons into lemonade and proceed in forward motion placing one foot after the other, one step at a time. I will Run on Love, finish this 26.2 mile marathon, and get my finishers medal and do this all for love. It won’t always be pretty. There may be some blood, sweat and tears along the way, but in the end I will have learned, grown, and expressed my deep love to the people I hold dear while hopefully having made a difference in someone else’s life.

I learned through my other charity runs that true joy comes from deep within. It comes to you when you are in a state of gratitude and devoted to giving of yourself unconditionally in the name of love. My deep sense of personal loss this past year was an awakening and I can no longer do business as usual. I must reach for more, and be more than I ever thought I could be. I hope to share this journey with you. When they pack me up and send me back to wherever I came from, I want my four letter name to be equal to another four letter word, Love. <3

Please Support Running on Love:
To donate to support Lori's marathon run: http://www.active.com/donate/ROLforHLA-NJ/Lori
Visit: www.runningonlove.org 
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